Man Cave

I know I may get a lot of grief over this post from my male readers... oh wait. I may not have any male readers. Oh well.

Call me naive, but I don't understand the concept of the man cave. One of my favorite shows to watch is House Hunters, and many times one of the must haves is the "man cave." When Paul and I dream about our dream house, he always says he wants a man cave. My question is, why? Why do you get a room all to yourself? The answer is always the same: Because you have the rest of the house. It doesn't matter if it is Paul answering this question or the men on HGTV, or friends' husbands.

This explanation does not make sense to me. It is not valid in my mind. In no other part of the house do women proclaim that nobody else is allowed. Women share every other room in the house with almost everyone else in the house. The kitchen belongs to everyone- everyone goes in there as it is probably one of the most popular rooms in the house. Everyone shares the dining room, living room, bedroom, and bathroom. There is no space in the house that is just the woman's space that no other person in the family is banned from entering.

I will make an exception to this proclamation to some families. In some cases, I am sure that if the female has a hobby, she may have a space designated to that hobby and it may be understood not to disturb that area. However, I would doubt that the feel of that space is "No boys allowed." In the same mentality, I understand that if the man has a hobby, he could have a space designated to that hobby and everyone should respect that space. However, the general feel of a man cave in my mind is "No girls allowed!" Are we still children that we need to have secret clubs where girls are not welcome? It's just weird.

I do agree with the concept of alone time and time designated for spending time with friends. I think that is healthy. But I don't understand having a room devoted only to the man in the family spending time with other men doing who knows what. It honestly feels a little childish to have a room specifically for video games, pool table, and whatnot.

All of those reasons are just personal preference. It feels weird to me. The thing that concerns me about having a room where the wife is not allowed to enter is: what about accountability? What are you doing in there that you can't let your wife see? I'm sure not all, or even most, man caves are about doing secret things that your wife shouldn't know about, but how is she to know? There is a reason they call it secret sin. Things (like porn, drugs, etc) happen slowly and can take a grip on you before your mate even knows what has happened. Before you know it, you could be out of control.

I know, I know. I just got really deep, really quick. What was meant to be a funny post, poking a little fun at the man cave just became serious. But that can happen sometimes. A fun little man cave where the man goes to retreat from the stresses of life can quickly become serious trouble. All I'm saying is- what's with the secrecy? Why can't you share the space? Why men only? It's just weird.

Sharing Tales

My boys have begun sharing with each other. Before you start saying awwww, hear me out. This is the way my boys will share: Matthew will be playing with a toy and Andrew will decide he wants to play with the toy. So Andrew crawls over and watches intently, maybe with a little whine to his voice. Matthew will offer the toy to Andrew and then immediately start crying because he wants the toy back. Andrew will then offer the toy back to Matthew and as soon as Matthew takes it, Andrew will immediately start crying. Back and forth this goes, the giver crying, the receiver happy for only a moment before he offers the toy back, and then immediately crying. This goes on and on until I can't stand it anymore and take the toy away, which makes both boys cry.

Sharing is over-rated!