A minor miracle happened in the Oakley household this afternoon. And I know that this might not be a big deal to most people, but it is a big deal to me, because this hardly ever happens. Both boys took a nap at the same time today! For two hours! Two!
Of course, at the time, I didn't know that their nap would be so long, so I started reading and then I cuddled with my awesome hubby before he went to work. And then, as Paul was getting ready to go for work, I decided to lay down for five minutes until the boys woke up, praying that they would sleep until 4. Well, they surpassed that, and slept until 4:20, giving me an hour nap. And I tell you, a nap never felt so good. (Well, that's not entirely true- it felt better during their first few months, but let's not revisit that time.)
Glorious nap! I wish two hour naps happened at the same time for both boys every day!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Exercise
I hate to exercise. Hate it, hate it! However, I made a commitment to myself that I would walk every day this summer except for Sundays and days that it was raining all day. I thought that would be pretty doable, since I am now a stay at home mom.
Matthew absolutely LOVES walks. I think they may be his favorite part of the day. You should see him, sitting tall, holding onto the tray in front of him and looking around eagerly the entire time. He is so cute. Andrew is more like me- he would prefer to play inside. But he doesn't mind them unless the sun is in his eyes, and he refuses to wear his sunglasses for more than five minutes- believe me, I try everyday to keep those sunglasses on his face to protect his little eyes, especially since he has the colobama, which causes severe light sensitivity.
Due to Andrew's eye condition, we go early in the morning before it is too bright outside and stick to the route with a lot of shade. Due to these precautions, Andrew also enjoys our walks. They both love to sit up front, so they take turns, and since we go six days a week, they each get three rides in the front each.
We have quite the system going. They wake up bright and early at 6am every morning. So I nurse them, change them, get dressed, and we go for our walk, which usually takes 45 minutes. The exercise is good for us. The boys have a better day with it, and I, well, I guess I do too. You see, exercise releases endorphins, and endorphins make us happy. And the sun does something to improve mood too. Which has really helped my latest depression (about a month ago, right before I started this exercise regiment).
However, despite all the healthy benefits of exercising and how good I have felt lately, I must tell you, I was ecstatic when it was raining this morning! I was nearly jumping up and down. And then the afternoon hit and that stupid sun came back out. So, reluctantly, dutifully, I loaded the boys in the stroller and went for our walk. I guess I feel good about it. But I kept my goal so far- we have walked every day except Sundays. I'm so glad tomorrow is Sunday and I get a true break, from walking at least. You don't get much of a break when you have twins!
Have I mentioned how much I hate exercising?
Matthew absolutely LOVES walks. I think they may be his favorite part of the day. You should see him, sitting tall, holding onto the tray in front of him and looking around eagerly the entire time. He is so cute. Andrew is more like me- he would prefer to play inside. But he doesn't mind them unless the sun is in his eyes, and he refuses to wear his sunglasses for more than five minutes- believe me, I try everyday to keep those sunglasses on his face to protect his little eyes, especially since he has the colobama, which causes severe light sensitivity.
Due to Andrew's eye condition, we go early in the morning before it is too bright outside and stick to the route with a lot of shade. Due to these precautions, Andrew also enjoys our walks. They both love to sit up front, so they take turns, and since we go six days a week, they each get three rides in the front each.
We have quite the system going. They wake up bright and early at 6am every morning. So I nurse them, change them, get dressed, and we go for our walk, which usually takes 45 minutes. The exercise is good for us. The boys have a better day with it, and I, well, I guess I do too. You see, exercise releases endorphins, and endorphins make us happy. And the sun does something to improve mood too. Which has really helped my latest depression (about a month ago, right before I started this exercise regiment).
However, despite all the healthy benefits of exercising and how good I have felt lately, I must tell you, I was ecstatic when it was raining this morning! I was nearly jumping up and down. And then the afternoon hit and that stupid sun came back out. So, reluctantly, dutifully, I loaded the boys in the stroller and went for our walk. I guess I feel good about it. But I kept my goal so far- we have walked every day except Sundays. I'm so glad tomorrow is Sunday and I get a true break, from walking at least. You don't get much of a break when you have twins!
Have I mentioned how much I hate exercising?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Laundry
I feel like I am losing the battle with my laundry. There is so much of it and I feel like I am never able to gain any headway. Ever since I can remember, I have always been very on top of my laundry. I would do it one day a week from start to finish. I would wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it away all in the same day. I had such a feeling of accomplishment!
Now, I am constantly doing laundry. One day, I might wash and dry it, the next day fold it, and the following day put it away. That is a good sequence for me. Usually, I wait a few days to fold it, another few days to put it away, and the only reason I put it away is because I need the basket to do yet another load of laundry. Of course, that is only one load, so I am doing this everyday, or every other day, because I can't seem to get more than one or two loads in a day. And part of the reason I only do one load at a time is because there is clean laundry in the other baskets that need to be folded and/or put away.
Gone are the days when everything was clean and put away in the same day. Hello to my current days of never ending laundry. And although I felt better about the laundry back then, I love my life more now as a whole!
Now, I am constantly doing laundry. One day, I might wash and dry it, the next day fold it, and the following day put it away. That is a good sequence for me. Usually, I wait a few days to fold it, another few days to put it away, and the only reason I put it away is because I need the basket to do yet another load of laundry. Of course, that is only one load, so I am doing this everyday, or every other day, because I can't seem to get more than one or two loads in a day. And part of the reason I only do one load at a time is because there is clean laundry in the other baskets that need to be folded and/or put away.
Gone are the days when everything was clean and put away in the same day. Hello to my current days of never ending laundry. And although I felt better about the laundry back then, I love my life more now as a whole!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Cuddling and sleep
I have been searching my memory and I don't think that I have slept a whole night through since before I got pregnant. There may have been a night or two in the second trimester when I was fortunate enough to get a whole night in, but other than that, not so much.
If I let myself, I can get pretty down and annoyed with how little sleep I get, or frustrated with the broken up sleep. Andrew does really well. He sleeps through the night, usually 10-11 hours without interruption, with the exception of if he doesn't feel well, teething, and when we separated the twins and put them in their own bed.
But Matthew... *Sigh* Matthew struggles with sleep. He goes to bed a lot easier, but he still wakes up through the night. Lately, he has only been getting up once or twice through the night unless his braces rub a sore on his feet. I can handle that one or two times. And the nights where he is up 6 times get to me, but those are the nights when his feet hurt, so I can cut him a break with that.
Although I get annoyed when I have to get up and nurse him, I also savor these times, because we get some good cuddle sessions in. Well, he is asleep, so he is mostly sleeping on my shoulder. Which I love! It is rare that I get some good cuddling in with Matthew because he is so energetic and wanting to play as soon as he is done eating, that I am actually OK with those night wakings. Because after all, he is only little once, and these days are so short. They are sweet times, albeit exhausting times. And even though I get up reluctantly, I end up rejoicing and thanking God for my little miracles. And usually stay in there room rocking and cuddling with Matthew longer than necessary because there is nothing better than having my babies sleeping in my arms, smelling the top of their sweet heads, and listening to their even breathing as they sleep.
If I let myself, I can get pretty down and annoyed with how little sleep I get, or frustrated with the broken up sleep. Andrew does really well. He sleeps through the night, usually 10-11 hours without interruption, with the exception of if he doesn't feel well, teething, and when we separated the twins and put them in their own bed.
But Matthew... *Sigh* Matthew struggles with sleep. He goes to bed a lot easier, but he still wakes up through the night. Lately, he has only been getting up once or twice through the night unless his braces rub a sore on his feet. I can handle that one or two times. And the nights where he is up 6 times get to me, but those are the nights when his feet hurt, so I can cut him a break with that.
Although I get annoyed when I have to get up and nurse him, I also savor these times, because we get some good cuddle sessions in. Well, he is asleep, so he is mostly sleeping on my shoulder. Which I love! It is rare that I get some good cuddling in with Matthew because he is so energetic and wanting to play as soon as he is done eating, that I am actually OK with those night wakings. Because after all, he is only little once, and these days are so short. They are sweet times, albeit exhausting times. And even though I get up reluctantly, I end up rejoicing and thanking God for my little miracles. And usually stay in there room rocking and cuddling with Matthew longer than necessary because there is nothing better than having my babies sleeping in my arms, smelling the top of their sweet heads, and listening to their even breathing as they sleep.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Morgan
Two years ago today, tragedy struck my body and my life as I miscarried our dear sweet Morgan. After years of trying to get pregnant, I was so excited when I finally was, and had so many hopes and dreams answered and beginning for the life of this child. I was nine weeks and two days along, when that fateful day came.
I think my miscarriage really shaped my life and my faith. I still hurt deeply and mourn the loss of my child. I wonder what life would be like if we had another, little older child running around. I wonder if we would still have the twins. More than anything, I miss him/her. I never got to hold that child in my arms, but I will always hold him/her in my heart. I will always remember the day I lost this child- 6-20-08 and I will always remember my due date 1-21-09.
Life is happier now that I have my two miracle babies, and they have repaired so much hurt in my life. They bring such a joy to my life that I never thought possible. But I still miss Morgan, and wish this child was still alive.
I think my miscarriage really shaped my life and my faith. I still hurt deeply and mourn the loss of my child. I wonder what life would be like if we had another, little older child running around. I wonder if we would still have the twins. More than anything, I miss him/her. I never got to hold that child in my arms, but I will always hold him/her in my heart. I will always remember the day I lost this child- 6-20-08 and I will always remember my due date 1-21-09.
Life is happier now that I have my two miracle babies, and they have repaired so much hurt in my life. They bring such a joy to my life that I never thought possible. But I still miss Morgan, and wish this child was still alive.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Weddings
Last weekend, my husband's brother Stephen got married. As I was sitting in the rehearsal trying to get some good photos, it occurred to me that I could only get the bridesmaids faces (already off to a good start, ha ha). Since I was sitting on the groom's side, I couldn't get any good ones of Stephen's face, and at best, only got his profile. It also occurred to me that it would be this way the following day at the wedding. Which got me thinking...
The bride's family will be taking pictures and get good pictures of Stephen and the groom's family will be taking pictures and will get good pictures of Kristen. And since the bride and groom face each other during the ceremony, it is much like the bride is looking at her husband's family that she is marrying into and accepting all of us as her family, and the same for Stephen to the bride's family.
And of course, that got me thinking of my own wedding day and the still made jokes about how I am the crazy one because I married into the family while all of them were born into the family. But see, when you are dating, engaged, and newly married, you don't realize the implications of marrying into your beloved's family. You are only thinking of your beloved and excited about spending your life with him/her. You don't realize the impact of your spouse's family on your marriage and life.
There are a lot of positives about this reality, for you have another family to love and to love you, a whole group of awesome people that you now fit with, and people who you care about and who care about you. That's the hope anyway! Because you were not born into this new family, you aren't always sure where you fit in, or if the family likes you- at least that's my experience. Of course, that's my MO in life- wondering if people truly do like me, but that's another story. Continuing on...
There is a lot of transition into this reality of marriage as well. The transition period is hard as you learn to leave your family and cleave to your beloved. It is hard for the family to think of you as married and treat you as such, especially if you married young, like my husband and I. Your family still thinks of you as children and treats you as such. And then there is this strange phenomenon where you act as you always did with your family of origin when you are around them. This can be very frustrating to your spouse, especially if it is very different than who you are now as a maturing individual. But you both do it! Usually. For instance, in my family of origin, I was the middle child (and hence, never feeling like I belonged- unfortunately a feeling I still have many times), shy, super sensitive, quiet, and stubborn. I think I have come a long way from those descriptors. I can still be pretty sensitive, although I try not to let things get to me.
Marriage is wonderful. It is very hard, but anything worth doing is hard! It takes a while, even a lifetime to figure each other out, to accept each other for who they are, and to get used to your spouse's family.
All of this because I couldn't get a good picture of Stephen... ha ha.
The bride's family will be taking pictures and get good pictures of Stephen and the groom's family will be taking pictures and will get good pictures of Kristen. And since the bride and groom face each other during the ceremony, it is much like the bride is looking at her husband's family that she is marrying into and accepting all of us as her family, and the same for Stephen to the bride's family.
And of course, that got me thinking of my own wedding day and the still made jokes about how I am the crazy one because I married into the family while all of them were born into the family. But see, when you are dating, engaged, and newly married, you don't realize the implications of marrying into your beloved's family. You are only thinking of your beloved and excited about spending your life with him/her. You don't realize the impact of your spouse's family on your marriage and life.
There are a lot of positives about this reality, for you have another family to love and to love you, a whole group of awesome people that you now fit with, and people who you care about and who care about you. That's the hope anyway! Because you were not born into this new family, you aren't always sure where you fit in, or if the family likes you- at least that's my experience. Of course, that's my MO in life- wondering if people truly do like me, but that's another story. Continuing on...
There is a lot of transition into this reality of marriage as well. The transition period is hard as you learn to leave your family and cleave to your beloved. It is hard for the family to think of you as married and treat you as such, especially if you married young, like my husband and I. Your family still thinks of you as children and treats you as such. And then there is this strange phenomenon where you act as you always did with your family of origin when you are around them. This can be very frustrating to your spouse, especially if it is very different than who you are now as a maturing individual. But you both do it! Usually. For instance, in my family of origin, I was the middle child (and hence, never feeling like I belonged- unfortunately a feeling I still have many times), shy, super sensitive, quiet, and stubborn. I think I have come a long way from those descriptors. I can still be pretty sensitive, although I try not to let things get to me.
Marriage is wonderful. It is very hard, but anything worth doing is hard! It takes a while, even a lifetime to figure each other out, to accept each other for who they are, and to get used to your spouse's family.
All of this because I couldn't get a good picture of Stephen... ha ha.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Conflicted
I have been conflicted lately on the topic of bedtime. For the past month, my boys, usually Matthew, has been getting up 3-7 times a night. This started happening when they figured out how to roll over, which is also when we started sleeping them in separate cribs. I attribute some of this to missing each other. They used to snuggle up close to each other and sleep practically on top of one another. It didn't matter how far apart we slept them from each other, they always found their way to each other to sleep. It was incredibly sweet. And then Matthew began rolling over, and because of his boots and bars, we decided to sleep them in separate cribs so that Matthew didn't clobber Andrew with his braces.
And that was the beginning of the end. Matthew rolls over in his sleep, or wakes up and rolls over- I'm not sure which one. Whichever one it is, he can't roll back over. He hasn't done it without his boots and bars on yet, and I am sure it will take him a little longer to figure it out once he does start rolling both ways. Therefore, he can't fall back to sleep. I have tried letting him scream it out (more on that in a bit), but when I went to check on him, I found him nearly thrashing and hitting his head on the crib. That really scared me. I have tried rolling him back over, which has only worked twice. The one night that I was determined not to nurse him every time he woke up was the night he woke up 7 times.
I am also conflicted about the whole "let them cry it out" thing anyway. In one way, I can see how it can be beneficial. They learn how to self-soothe and then I get to sleep more, which causes a lot of positives in my mood, patience levels, ability to comprehend/concentrate, and my mental health. (Let's face it, it can get depressing not being able to sleep).
On the other hand, I want my babies to know that they can trust me to be there for them when they need me. I am supposed to be an example for God for my children, and God is always there for me when I need Him. Shouldn't I be there for my children when they need me? I want my babies needs to be met- what if they are going through a growth spurt and are legitimately hungry. Or teething and need comfort. Or sick or hurt or wet? Every time that I convince myself to let them cry it out, I think of these things and talk myself right back out of it. And I remember the one time I was going to let them cry it out, lost my nerve, and it turned out Matthew had soaked through his diaper, outfit, and sheets.
Parenting is hard.
And that was the beginning of the end. Matthew rolls over in his sleep, or wakes up and rolls over- I'm not sure which one. Whichever one it is, he can't roll back over. He hasn't done it without his boots and bars on yet, and I am sure it will take him a little longer to figure it out once he does start rolling both ways. Therefore, he can't fall back to sleep. I have tried letting him scream it out (more on that in a bit), but when I went to check on him, I found him nearly thrashing and hitting his head on the crib. That really scared me. I have tried rolling him back over, which has only worked twice. The one night that I was determined not to nurse him every time he woke up was the night he woke up 7 times.
I am also conflicted about the whole "let them cry it out" thing anyway. In one way, I can see how it can be beneficial. They learn how to self-soothe and then I get to sleep more, which causes a lot of positives in my mood, patience levels, ability to comprehend/concentrate, and my mental health. (Let's face it, it can get depressing not being able to sleep).
On the other hand, I want my babies to know that they can trust me to be there for them when they need me. I am supposed to be an example for God for my children, and God is always there for me when I need Him. Shouldn't I be there for my children when they need me? I want my babies needs to be met- what if they are going through a growth spurt and are legitimately hungry. Or teething and need comfort. Or sick or hurt or wet? Every time that I convince myself to let them cry it out, I think of these things and talk myself right back out of it. And I remember the one time I was going to let them cry it out, lost my nerve, and it turned out Matthew had soaked through his diaper, outfit, and sheets.
Parenting is hard.
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