I must say, I really love being a mother. My babies are so precious and sweet. I love the way they look at me. They look at me with such love and adoration that it is hard for me to soak it all in. I know it won't be this way forever, but man, I wish it would be!
My babies are 5 months old now, and are doing so many fun things! Andrew can now roll over, although he has only done it twice. I missed the first time because I was changing Matthew's diaper, but the second one I got on video. That was last week and I keep hoping he'll do it again, while at the same time, wanting him to stop, because I love their littleness.
Matthew can now blow bubbles and make raspberry sounds. It is very cute. I often stick out my tongue at the boys and do a little spitting sound. Matthew now sticks his tongue out, then pulls it back in and does a raspberry. He is so smart! He thinks he is doing what I'm doing. I still haven't been able to get him to do it on camera yet.
I love rocking them, and having them sleep on me- Matthew always finds the same spot on my shoulder, and Andrew loves his head on the top of my breast, and then curls the rest of his body around it- SO cute! Therefore, they both snuggle in their own way, and I am in love with both methods.
Although I think they are sweetest and cutest when they are sleeping, I find that I am excited when they wake up, because they are a lot of fun to play with and talk to. They are learning different and new sounds with their mouths and respond to me when I talk to them. In the early months, I didn't enjoy them being awake very much because the only thing they wanted to do was eat (and at that point, nursing was still very painful). Now, we play, go outside, talk, and really enjoy each other!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Communication
They say communication is key to any relationship. While I agree that it is important, they don't say what kind of communication. I have recently come to discover that Paul and I have a language all our own. I guess it comes with having twins. I have heard that twins develop their own language, but I never realized that the parents of twins can do the same thing.
I discovered this new phenomenon when Paul's dad came to visit and I was trying to communicate with him like I do with Paul, and he was just not getting it. Before you think that we are freaks, we really aren't. This little nonverbal short hand came when the babies are asleep and we are trying desperately to keep it that way! Examples of this are: I will be nursing Matthew, and Paul will be walking/bouncing Andrew in an attempt to get him to sleep. I will put up my hand, will point to Matthew, then point upstairs, then point to Andrew (translation: Hey Paul, Matthew is asleep, so I am going to put him in his crib, then come down and nurse Andrew). We have all sorts of these little hand gestures that we do, like acting like I am drinking from a cup means, will you bring me some water.
I never realized it was different from regular communication until Paul's dad was visiting, and it was the scenario from above and I was trying to gesture for him to turn off the light, but he did not get it, so I had to verbalize what I wanted. Which woke the babies up. You see, we developed this little shorthand because the boys wake up whenever they hear my voice. Anyone else can talk, and they will stay asleep, but if I so much as whisper anything, they wake up and become alert.
So, Paul and I are a little different (that really shouldn't be a big surprise!), but the fact that we do communicate is good. It works for us and I guess that is all that matters. Disclaimer: we do talk verbally to each other too- just not when the boys are asleep/trying to get to sleep while we are in the same room with them.
I discovered this new phenomenon when Paul's dad came to visit and I was trying to communicate with him like I do with Paul, and he was just not getting it. Before you think that we are freaks, we really aren't. This little nonverbal short hand came when the babies are asleep and we are trying desperately to keep it that way! Examples of this are: I will be nursing Matthew, and Paul will be walking/bouncing Andrew in an attempt to get him to sleep. I will put up my hand, will point to Matthew, then point upstairs, then point to Andrew (translation: Hey Paul, Matthew is asleep, so I am going to put him in his crib, then come down and nurse Andrew). We have all sorts of these little hand gestures that we do, like acting like I am drinking from a cup means, will you bring me some water.
I never realized it was different from regular communication until Paul's dad was visiting, and it was the scenario from above and I was trying to gesture for him to turn off the light, but he did not get it, so I had to verbalize what I wanted. Which woke the babies up. You see, we developed this little shorthand because the boys wake up whenever they hear my voice. Anyone else can talk, and they will stay asleep, but if I so much as whisper anything, they wake up and become alert.
So, Paul and I are a little different (that really shouldn't be a big surprise!), but the fact that we do communicate is good. It works for us and I guess that is all that matters. Disclaimer: we do talk verbally to each other too- just not when the boys are asleep/trying to get to sleep while we are in the same room with them.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
4-6-05
Paul and I had been married only 11 months when his mom and grandmother were killed in a car accident. I remember that day vividly- it was a Wednesday, was gorgeous outside, and I was having the best day at work. My niece Erika had been born two days before and I was planning a trip to visit her.
It was right around 3:30 when I got a call from Paul at work. He was crying and said that his mom and grandmother were killed in a car accident. I told him that wasn't funny. Unfortunately, he wasn't joking. I went home immediately and cried the whole way home. However, I had to pull myself together. There was so much to do, and Paul was in too much of a state of shock to do anything. I made flight arrangements, called professors, jobs, pastors, family members, and packed. It was such an awful time. Our good friend Matt Knight came to be with us that night and drove us to the airport and picked us up again.
Side note: Sandy and Stephen were on vacation in New Hampshire, visiting her parents for the week. Scott was at home in GA working, Peter was a freshman in college, and Paul and I were both working and in college in VA.
We found out later that Stephen was supposed to be in that car- that they had gone to pick him up from playing basketball, and he asked to stay later. Otherwise, he would have been killed too. Thank the Lord he was not in that car. We still don't know what happened for sure. Lois (Paul's grandmother) was driving and somehow lost control of the car and the SUV behind them T-boned them. It was not the SUV driver's fault, but I still wonder how he and his child are doing. I wonder if they have nightmares and are filled with guilt. Or if they have flashbacks to that horrible day and the crappy luck they had that they were following this car or had even gone out that day at all. I wish that I could reach out to them and let them know that we are okay. That even though things are difficult and we miss them like crazy, we are okay and to release them from any guilt that they might feel.
It has been 5 years since that treacherous day. Sandy (Paul's mom) has missed so much! Her dream was to have all three of her children graduate from college, and they all did! But she didn't get to see any of them. She never got to meet her grandchildren, although I like to believe that she is taking care of the babies that I miscarried. There are so many things that we want to share with her, but can't, like the upcoming wedding of her baby, Stephen. I also feel badly for Lois' youngest granddaughters. Lois made these beautiful quilts for each of her grandchildren when they graduated high school. But, they didn't get one. I mourn for them.
There are so many things that I want to talk to Sandy about, but will now never get the chance. I want to apologize for the fight we had leading up to our wedding. I have so many regrets and live with such guilt, and have no way to make things right. I want to tell her that I understand her so much more now and I want to share our children with her. She was a fun lady, and I miss her!
It is so hard to see Paul going through such pain with missing his mother. I wish I could take that pain away from him. Every thing that we go through, he says he wishes his mom was here. When I was on bed rest in the hospital, he wished he could talk to her and get her advise. She was a labor and delivery nurse, so her knowledge would have been so helpful. I don't think that we will ever stop wishing for her to be here. It would be so great to get her advise and knowledge on things. She raised three great sons, who have not strayed from the Lord. She has a wonderful legacy. Her children have risen and called her blessed.
It was right around 3:30 when I got a call from Paul at work. He was crying and said that his mom and grandmother were killed in a car accident. I told him that wasn't funny. Unfortunately, he wasn't joking. I went home immediately and cried the whole way home. However, I had to pull myself together. There was so much to do, and Paul was in too much of a state of shock to do anything. I made flight arrangements, called professors, jobs, pastors, family members, and packed. It was such an awful time. Our good friend Matt Knight came to be with us that night and drove us to the airport and picked us up again.
Side note: Sandy and Stephen were on vacation in New Hampshire, visiting her parents for the week. Scott was at home in GA working, Peter was a freshman in college, and Paul and I were both working and in college in VA.
We found out later that Stephen was supposed to be in that car- that they had gone to pick him up from playing basketball, and he asked to stay later. Otherwise, he would have been killed too. Thank the Lord he was not in that car. We still don't know what happened for sure. Lois (Paul's grandmother) was driving and somehow lost control of the car and the SUV behind them T-boned them. It was not the SUV driver's fault, but I still wonder how he and his child are doing. I wonder if they have nightmares and are filled with guilt. Or if they have flashbacks to that horrible day and the crappy luck they had that they were following this car or had even gone out that day at all. I wish that I could reach out to them and let them know that we are okay. That even though things are difficult and we miss them like crazy, we are okay and to release them from any guilt that they might feel.
It has been 5 years since that treacherous day. Sandy (Paul's mom) has missed so much! Her dream was to have all three of her children graduate from college, and they all did! But she didn't get to see any of them. She never got to meet her grandchildren, although I like to believe that she is taking care of the babies that I miscarried. There are so many things that we want to share with her, but can't, like the upcoming wedding of her baby, Stephen. I also feel badly for Lois' youngest granddaughters. Lois made these beautiful quilts for each of her grandchildren when they graduated high school. But, they didn't get one. I mourn for them.
There are so many things that I want to talk to Sandy about, but will now never get the chance. I want to apologize for the fight we had leading up to our wedding. I have so many regrets and live with such guilt, and have no way to make things right. I want to tell her that I understand her so much more now and I want to share our children with her. She was a fun lady, and I miss her!
It is so hard to see Paul going through such pain with missing his mother. I wish I could take that pain away from him. Every thing that we go through, he says he wishes his mom was here. When I was on bed rest in the hospital, he wished he could talk to her and get her advise. She was a labor and delivery nurse, so her knowledge would have been so helpful. I don't think that we will ever stop wishing for her to be here. It would be so great to get her advise and knowledge on things. She raised three great sons, who have not strayed from the Lord. She has a wonderful legacy. Her children have risen and called her blessed.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter
I was reflecting a lot about Easter today and all that it entails. I have a whole new perspective on this day now that I have children. I have two precious little boys whom I love more than I thought possible. I would do anything for them, and believe that I would even die for them if I had to in order to keep them safe.
This got me thinking about how God sent his only son to die for all of the sins of mankind. I don't think I could do that. I don't care if it saved the entire world, I don't think I could let my son die, much less send him to die so that someone else, who doesn't even deserve it, could have life. I am selfish that way. God, on the other hand, loves me and everyone else so much that he made that sacrifice and sent his son to die for me so that I (and everyone else) could live. And his son died a horrible death, and did it so that people who believe in him will be able to get to heaven.
The way to get to heaven is simple- you believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and confess with your mouth, and you will be saved. Saved from your sins (everyone has them!), saved from a hopeless life, saved from the horrors of hell. AND, even better, because I believe and have asked Jesus into my heart to live, I now have a relationship with the God of the universe. I know that I too often take that for granted, but I am so glad that God is patient with me and loves me through it all- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I hope and pray that my life is different and that I make God happy. I know that I still mess up, but, thankfully, that doesn't make God hate me! He still loves me and wants to have a relationship with me, and with everyone else!
This got me thinking about how God sent his only son to die for all of the sins of mankind. I don't think I could do that. I don't care if it saved the entire world, I don't think I could let my son die, much less send him to die so that someone else, who doesn't even deserve it, could have life. I am selfish that way. God, on the other hand, loves me and everyone else so much that he made that sacrifice and sent his son to die for me so that I (and everyone else) could live. And his son died a horrible death, and did it so that people who believe in him will be able to get to heaven.
The way to get to heaven is simple- you believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and confess with your mouth, and you will be saved. Saved from your sins (everyone has them!), saved from a hopeless life, saved from the horrors of hell. AND, even better, because I believe and have asked Jesus into my heart to live, I now have a relationship with the God of the universe. I know that I too often take that for granted, but I am so glad that God is patient with me and loves me through it all- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I hope and pray that my life is different and that I make God happy. I know that I still mess up, but, thankfully, that doesn't make God hate me! He still loves me and wants to have a relationship with me, and with everyone else!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Andrew's tongue
Andrew is fascinated with tongues. Somewhere in his second month, probably toward the end of it, I noticed he would move his tongue when I talked to him. He always watches my mouth when I talk or sing, and moves his tongue right along with me. Because he seems so interested, I do a lot with my tongue. I stick it out at him and you could tell he would try to stick his out back, but had the hardest time mastering that. I would also move my tongue in and out. He thought that was the funniest thing and would just laugh at that. Even our pastor gets in on the fun and does funny tongue movements to him and he just thinks that is the most interesting thing ever.
It has also prevented him from crying. If he gets a big lower lip, or starts to whine, I will stick out my tongue to hold him off and it sometimes works. He will smile and engage and try his hardest to stick that tongue out. In fact, if you look at most of his pictures, if his fist is not in his mouth, his tongue is turned sideways. He is always playing with it.
Yesterday, I got Andrew up and was changing his diaper. He gave me this huge pouty lip, and I thought he was about to cry, and then, I saw it. His tongue emerged. He was sticking his tongue out and he was proud of it! He smiled at me and I laughed and stuck mine back at him and we did that ALL day long. Everytime I looked at him, he stuck out his bottom lip and out came the tongue. He is so much fun!
It has also prevented him from crying. If he gets a big lower lip, or starts to whine, I will stick out my tongue to hold him off and it sometimes works. He will smile and engage and try his hardest to stick that tongue out. In fact, if you look at most of his pictures, if his fist is not in his mouth, his tongue is turned sideways. He is always playing with it.
Yesterday, I got Andrew up and was changing his diaper. He gave me this huge pouty lip, and I thought he was about to cry, and then, I saw it. His tongue emerged. He was sticking his tongue out and he was proud of it! He smiled at me and I laughed and stuck mine back at him and we did that ALL day long. Everytime I looked at him, he stuck out his bottom lip and out came the tongue. He is so much fun!
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