Bedtime

Although I enjoy most of my time with my babies, I absolutely hate bedtime. It is the most stressful part of my day, and is usually when I am most exhausted, so my patience is also low. Around 6 or 6:30 every day, my babies become very fussy, which turn into screaming and uncontrollable crying. (I have tried putting them to bed at this time, but they only wake up an hour later, so I have to wait until 7 to start the bedtime process). I get them changed into their sleepers, nighttime diapers, and now recently, put Matthew's boots and bars on before I nurse them for the night.

Let me make an aside right here about the boots and bars. They have always been a pain to put on, but Paul was always there to help me, so it wasn't ever too bad (once we got into a rhythm and Matthew got used to them). And we always did it at a time where both boys were pleasant. However, now, it is torture. Because Paul works second shift, I have to put them on alone, and inevitably, Matthew will start kicking his leg, which will throw off the placement of his foot and I have to start all over again. And because they are super tired and ridiculously grumpy, I have to put them on while both boys are screaming. Well, Matthew usually whines, but doesn't start screaming until I get Andrew ready for bed.

So after they are ready for bed, I nurse them until they fall asleep and pray that they won't wake up during the transfer of nursing to getting up and putting them in their crib. That isn't so bad unless Matthew is in a really sensitive mood and will refuse to nurse when Andrew is nursing at the same time. That is really difficult for me because then I will have to listen to one of them scream until the other one is done nursing. And Matthew typically falls asleep much faster than Andrew, I have to make a choice of which one I feed first and which one to let scream. And sadly, it is usually Andrew that I let scream, even though he was fine nursing, because it is a much shorter time. I always feel bad, and I wish they would go back to tandem nursing consistently, because it was so much easier.

It is amazing to me, though, how every night I can't wait for them to go to bed because they are so fussy and I am so stressed out, but then they fall asleep and are snuggling up against me, and it takes me forever to actually put them to bed, because I love snuggling with them. As I have said before, there is no greater feeling than a baby sleeping in your arms. And then, when they are in their crib asleep, I just stand there staring at them, and am amazed at how sweet they are and I thank God that he gave them to me, and I pray for them that God will keep them safe, and that they will come to know Him at an early age and not stray from Him. I love my babies.