I think I have said this before, but I will say it again. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom. I love being able to meet my babies' every need, love being able to watch them grow and learn and discover the world around them. For example, who knew that running water so so fascinating! I didn't realize that until Matthew would be looking around until I turn on the water and then he whips his head around to focus on that running water. Fascinating stuff.
That being said, I had no idea how hard it would be to be a stay at home mom. I had always thought that it would be a piece of cake- you get to play with your babies all day, and how hard is that? Well, as it turns out, that is not all that you do. My day starts between 5am-6am, except on lucky days like today when it started at 4:30am. And the boys aren't in bed until 8pm, sometimes a little earlier, rarely a little later. Yes, they do nap, but rarely at the same time, and Andrew only naps in 20-30 minute increments. That, along with the night time wakings (between 2-6, lately more on the 6 side due to teething), and it makes for long days and long nights. Being on call 24/7 to meet the needs of two little people is hard. Really hard.
As much as the lack of sleep and utter exhaustion is hard, I think the hardest thing about being a stay at home mom is the loneliness. I have virtually no one to talk to. Even when Paul is home, it is hard to have a conversation because of the needs of the babies. And because of that, my communication skills are virtually gone. I start a sentence and in the middle of it, the train of thought is gone, or I will put a word in a sentence that doesn't belong. I don't feel as sharp as I used to, because I talk to babies all day long. And as much as I love that, it's difficult being around people because I don't feel interesting or even a valuable communicator anymore, because let's face it, I'm not.
It takes a lot of sacrifice to be a stay at home mom. I have always been frugal, but we have had to take it to the next step. It is so worth it, though, because I believe that this is the most important job in the world. And we are surviving. We may not be rich, we may not be able to buy or do anything we want, but we are making it, and I am so grateful and happy to be able to make this sacrifice for the good of our family!
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Sarah, I know how you feel. It does get easier. A little. Two year olds are able to communicate much more effectively than 6 month olds. Also, the words (and the train of thought)comes back, slowly! If you can find a Bible Study or Moms group that meets one morning a week do it. It helps with the isolated feeling. I know the struggles are worth it, but it doesn't really negate the struggle part of it. If you ever just need a voice on the other end of the phone, call me!
ReplyDeleteThanks Annie. I just got involved with a mom's group, so I am hoping that will help some!
ReplyDeleteAnyone who has been a stay at home mom understands and has gone through the same thing. It IS a worthy sacrifice and one that constantly changes. Overall an exciting ride and one I'm glad you are writing about.
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