Weddings

Last weekend, my husband's brother Stephen got married. As I was sitting in the rehearsal trying to get some good photos, it occurred to me that I could only get the bridesmaids faces (already off to a good start, ha ha). Since I was sitting on the groom's side, I couldn't get any good ones of Stephen's face, and at best, only got his profile. It also occurred to me that it would be this way the following day at the wedding. Which got me thinking...

The bride's family will be taking pictures and get good pictures of Stephen and the groom's family will be taking pictures and will get good pictures of Kristen. And since the bride and groom face each other during the ceremony, it is much like the bride is looking at her husband's family that she is marrying into and accepting all of us as her family, and the same for Stephen to the bride's family.

And of course, that got me thinking of my own wedding day and the still made jokes about how I am the crazy one because I married into the family while all of them were born into the family. But see, when you are dating, engaged, and newly married, you don't realize the implications of marrying into your beloved's family. You are only thinking of your beloved and excited about spending your life with him/her. You don't realize the impact of your spouse's family on your marriage and life.

There are a lot of positives about this reality, for you have another family to love and to love you, a whole group of awesome people that you now fit with, and people who you care about and who care about you. That's the hope anyway! Because you were not born into this new family, you aren't always sure where you fit in, or if the family likes you- at least that's my experience. Of course, that's my MO in life- wondering if people truly do like me, but that's another story. Continuing on...

There is a lot of transition into this reality of marriage as well. The transition period is hard as you learn to leave your family and cleave to your beloved. It is hard for the family to think of you as married and treat you as such, especially if you married young, like my husband and I. Your family still thinks of you as children and treats you as such. And then there is this strange phenomenon where you act as you always did with your family of origin when you are around them. This can be very frustrating to your spouse, especially if it is very different than who you are now as a maturing individual. But you both do it! Usually. For instance, in my family of origin, I was the middle child (and hence, never feeling like I belonged- unfortunately a feeling I still have many times), shy, super sensitive, quiet, and stubborn. I think I have come a long way from those descriptors. I can still be pretty sensitive, although I try not to let things get to me.

Marriage is wonderful. It is very hard, but anything worth doing is hard! It takes a while, even a lifetime to figure each other out, to accept each other for who they are, and to get used to your spouse's family.

All of this because I couldn't get a good picture of Stephen... ha ha.