Schedule

All the books say to put your kids on a schedule as soon as you can. Well, not all of them- some say to do everything on demand, especially if you are breastfeeding. The latter made the most sense in my mind, at least for the first year. So when the boys were hungry, I fed them, when they were tired, I put them down for a nap or bedtime, whichever time frame it was. The awful thing was that they hardly ever did things at the same time. Around month 4, I was able to start putting them to bed at the same time and they would wake up at the same time, so I got those feedings and sleep times in sync, but I could not get the rest of the day on a schedule, and would become frustrated whenever I tried to do so. So I would remind myself that I am doing things on demand and every once in a while, I would try to get them on the same schedule- to no avail. So all day long, I would put one down for a nap, while getting the other one up, feed play, get that one down for a nap at the same time the first one was getting up, and it would continue like that all day long, every day. They did have awake times together, but I just could never sync up their naps, and the whole day would be spent running up and down the stairs trying to get one or both asleep. (No wonder I have struggled with anxiety!)



It all came to a head about a month ago. They got so completely out of even their own schedules, and I never got a moment to myself from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my babies and I love being with them, but that much togetherness is maddening. One baby, let's call him Andrew, would get up at 6, Matthew would get up at 7:30, and by the time I fed them, Andrew would need a nap, when he would wake up, Matthew would go down for a nap... they might have some togetherness in the awake region, but never in the sleep region, but the clincher was they started going to bed at 10-11pm, whereas their normal bedtime is between 7-8. At least during that time, I would get some downtime after they went to bed. And then they started taking that too...



So I wised up, figured out the times that I wanted them to sleep and didn't put them down for a nap until 9:30, which they both needed and wanted, and then put them both down for a nap at 2:30, which they both needed and wanted. And then bedtime between 7-8. This went marvelously for exactly a week. I started to feel cocky and couldn't believe I didn't do this before.



And then they rebelled, started boycotting their nap, although I refused to give in and didn't get them until the nap time frame was over (I figure a minimum of an hour). It all hit me why I never did get them on a schedule before this. It turns out they were getting sick, so I relaxed a little and now that they are doing better, I am back trying desperately to get them back on the schedule I set. Yesterday was awesome, but today's second nap was a disaster, or should I say, non-existent. I am frustrated and really want this to work out. These two babies are some of the most stubborn babies, and they are breaking me down. But I am determined to stick with it. I guess they get some of their stubbornness from me, and Paul is pretty stubborn too! But I digress. So that is what is happening in the Oakley household. Fun times.