Nightly tales

Matthew is still not sleeping through the night. He still wakes up an average of 3 times per night. I have tried nearly everything. I have tried the cry it out method for a week and let him cry for 2 hours before I couldn't take it anymore. I have tried going in and walking him around, but not nursing him. Nothing has worked- he is stubborn, more stubborn than I am. I have tried reducing the time I spend in his room. Finally, I have come to accept this as part of my life. Sometimes I get depressed about it, but usually I am OK and just realize that this won't happen forever. Maybe when he is weaned he will stop getting up in the middle of the night. I don't know. But I am better when I accept my reality, no matter how difficult it may be.

About 6 weeks ago, Matthew went through a phase ( and later learned 4 teeth were coming through) where he would not sleep in his own crib. He insisted on me holding him, and sleeping with me, and that was both awful and wonderful all at the same time. In fact, that is how I view him waking up throughout the night- awful and wonderful. Awful because it interrupts my sleep, and wonderful because those are the most tender and sweet moments I have with him. I can't even describe the wonderfulness of how he feels sleeping on my shoulder after he is done nursing. I can't wait until he is sleeping through the night, but at the same time, I will miss the nighttime closeness.

Andrew is typically a great sleeper and sleeps an average of 11 hours a night (unless he is teething or sick). One night when I was nursing Matthew, Andrew sat up in his crib, facing the door. He didn't make a peep, but just sat watching the door. I was hoping he wouldn't turn around and see me, because if he did, he would insist on being nursed too, and he takes 20 minutes, whereas Matthew is around 5 minutes. So I sat rocking Matthew, watching Andrew, and hoping he would go back to sleep, when all of the sudden Andrew started snoring and fell over, which did not wake him up. Oh, how that made me laugh- inwardly, of course!